defining hell

note: these are my thoughts and ideas, they are an interrupted flow of writing, or stream of consciousness. i’m not sponsored by anyone and really would rather have this as my personal inner thoughts but I don’t see why not just share. I’d like to connect with people who are also like me, who share their thoughts in a space where they can just be thoughts. i do go to open mics and those are places i feel comfortable but i’d like this to also be a place too. I don’t expect someone to take this the wrong way, but i come from the bible belt and i can see in my mind all the people who could potentially, but i dream that i’m wrong.

i think hell can be stepped into at any point, like walking into a puddle, even when the best try to avoid these forgotten portals.

hell - to forget that a puddle is a portal

hell is described by some as this human experience, this place where we watch humans be born, a place where within the first moments of breath, sometime before, the group, a collection of people in the community, or society or influential pressures has decided what that new born reality might look like or should be like based on biases, beliefs, religion, philosophy, or whatever else indoctrinating thing you can think of to force this new life into their sequences of comfortability. This is what some define as hell.

what would it be like to admit that we do experience hell everyday. it sounds really harsh, because when I hear, say, or spell the word hell I automatically think of dante’s inferno, like when i say hell i think of torture and red fire, darkness, mythical beings red devil’s with horns, things that i’ve never seen in my life. but hell to me is the lies in our world. i’m an idealist, i’d like to believe that people could understand this, but I know that it’s not that simple, people have been through so much, so much as in to even start to consider this may take a lot of time and hopefully with assistance of therapy or at the very least support - I don’t care to make anyone understand this if they don’t want to especially if it would cause them harm (within themselves or from the reaction of their community). and I take the time to say this because i care about people who may or may not care about me in the same way, it doesn’t really matter either, no one will care about me in the same way. I do believe, someday more than others, that the more authentic i am and share the love I have, which shows up in this way and others then it will benefit those around me, it wouldn’t harm them. I’d like to think this is true. The first flaw I see is how can I do that when I’m speaking in English, this language which has been used for so long to eradicate lives, but then I could say the same about even being on this earth, and so what is the point of me being that harsh to myself, I can do as others and acknowledge what I know about the land we’re on, to state land acknowledgements when speaking, when making important comments, so what’s an important comment? we could go into that as well. How could I believe that good intentions is enough to not cause any harm, i feel like it would be wrong for me to think that. i feel like me being authentic and love the way i do will cause people harm, even though i do not intend for this to happen, i do know that i cannot expect others to conform to my way of being. i do understand that some people will be very scared of me, they might say I have the devil in me, or that i am “of the world” and other things, plenty of other things could be said about me. but i accept it, that i will threaten others way of life.

hell - constantly remembering things and simultaneously forgetting things