DITD #2

01/12/2024 22:45

I feel so impatient, I can see it there in my head. I was told recently by a guide that I need to slow down, that is was crucial. They prompted me to look into yin energy and it’s properties, that this is the space I should be in. Since this meeting, I am so hyper-aware of how difficult it is for me to truly be calm and slow down my mind. Even now, nearly midnight, already tucked into bed everything put away, I felt the need to pick up my laptop and right this down with urgency. Immediately, I speak to myself and say,

wow Laura you couldn’t just wait until it was a decent hour to do this? Do you have to use every bit of energy supply you have?

And recently, every time I speak to myself like this, I find myself constantly apologizing, saying,

you’re doing the best you can and it’s okay that you can’t slow down completely, yet, but at some point it will get easier… I am trying my best.

It could be the overstimulation I am receiving from short form digital content, and seeing everyone in the art world and the other worlds do their millions of things and I lose track of my things, it’s like a rollercoaster every time I turn on my phone.

in-between all of my daily duties I decided to do another draw in the dark

It was getting quite late but I thought now or else it will be to late and that little voice will pop up again, saying why are you doing this at all

I got her done, a bit frantically, even though, I tried to calm myself by rubbing the paper for a minute.

the drawing

it looks like portals to me, multiple portals