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I will probably spend near a $1,000 or more on therapy this year. I have been going every week since I started this summer.

I am very strong. I am safe - out of the situation only good will come

Grateful for people I shared time with for the past three weeks from around the world. In this moment I feel comfort from it. Actually in this moment of typing I feel the alchemical reaction that S. was/is curious about. At the moment I have been struggling with a conversation about a service I provided. I had already discussed and performed the work. It made me question my value. It made me feel uncomfortable. It made me question a lot and I wanted to overcompensate and smooth out the wrinkles that were bugging me. But time has passed and I responded with only what was necessary and ive moved on with other things I needed to do. And in this moment, when I am taking time for myself and it is still on my mind (the uncomfortable sludge of today) I now think of the hours of sitting, several moments of silence, silence filled with music of happenings around us, currents of life breathing, and not commenting on each others experience but just in the moment experiencing everything together. I feel connected in a way that makes this moment easier to deal with, to think that my colleagues and strangers who I have a connection with now are also having moments that are difficult or having moments that range in a wonderfully unknown simple complexity. (simple complexity … oxymoronic - i guess I still dont know if life itself is simple or complex - complexity relative, the variables for some can be very intimate or completely alien - and there is no way to ever live someone else’s life, there will always be a known unknown)